S'moresey Ice Cream Cake
12 years ago
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
My 5-year-old is a teen
I want you all to read my sister's story blog - at least the one titled "The fight." It is about me and my children! Well, we were at least her inspiration. And then you will know why I've not liked myself too much these days. It seems I have no control in my home. I'm bossed, yelled at, hit, ignored. You name it, it's happening. And that would be a given if I was allowing it to happen. But I don't! My day consists of constantly stopping all of the above and punishing for it. I'm doing a lot of praying for help these days. If I had to describe Benjamin in one word it would be "defiant". I know that my help will come, I just hope I don't kill him in the meantime! (That's meant to be funny - not really true -I love him too much to harm him THAT much, although the occasional spanking does happen.)
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3 comments:
Liz, call the super nanny :) No not really, I just have always wanted to see someone I know on that show. I am sure it will all work out, just stick with it, we all have those times where it just doesn't seem like anything we do with our kids is working. It is working, just DON'T GIVE UP!! Good luck.
I just read this great article on discipline. Its all about focusing on the positive rather than the negative. At first I thought, "I don't want to be one of those 'soft' moms". But that's not at all what its about. Rather than telling your kids what not to do, we need to teach them what we want them to do. So when they actually do what you want them to do, you overpraise them; get really excited about it. Example: You want your kids to share and play nicely, so when they let the other sibling have a turn with a toy you say, "Wow, you did such a nice job sharing your toy!" (Be specific). Eventually sharing will become a habit. They say that punishment only gives a temporary change. I have started trying this with Tyler. Its really hard to remember to praise him, but I have noticed a slight difference. He listens to me more if I remind him calmly of what I expect from him. And it helps me feel better too. Anyway, I liked the idea. I will have to see if I can copy it and send it to you.
I think we all have power struggles on occasion with our own children. I think it's their way of checking to see if we still KNOW we're the boss, and checking to see how far they can push us and get away with. Just be consistent with whatever kind of discipline or actions you're taking. I think sometimes kids can get easily confused. Stay calm, try to be positive, and stay close to the Lord. Eventually, you'll get past the tough parts, look back & think "Wow... That wasn't anything I couldn't handle." If it counts for anything, I think you seem like a really good mom!
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