Okay, so a lot of you have asked "what DID you do?"
On Saturday morning I had washed a few blueberries and left them in the strainer on the counter. It wasn't long before Sarah grabbed the strainer and pulled it down. She's done that before, but for some reason, this time, she spilled the blueberries. I said, "Oops, let's pick those up." She said, "no" and left the room. My first thought was to make her come back and do it, but I've been trying something new. I want her to be the one who decides to obey. I know that's what we all want from our children. So, I told Kannon, "we don't do anything for her until she picks up the blueberries." I was in the kitchen working so I had to do a lot of tip-toeing. After a few hours, I'd had enough. I'd run out of patience waiting. So, I took her to the kitchen and told her to pick them up. She just stood there. She did get spanked. I probably got a little too loud. If I took her hand and took it to the blueberry, she'd pick it up. But, as soon as I let go of her, she would just drop her hand. Finally, I blocked the kitchen doorway and left the room. She ended up with a poopy diaper along the way. I told her we'd change it when she'd picked up the blueberries. She still refused. Eventually, she said, "it hurts." And that's when I was about to give in. But, I said one more time, "I'll change you as soon as you pick up the blueberries." AND SHE DID! So, I got the end result, but at what cost? I'm still not sure that's the right way to do this. I know that for us, right now, time outs just aren't working. I'm too cranky to be patient enough to put her back every second - she won't stay there. Ben hits and kicks when I try to use the naughty spot, so we take away his tv/computer/wii minutes. That works for him - but she's not ready for that. So, I'm still open to suggestions. And I hope you don't think I'm an awful mother for making her wear her dirty diaper for awhile.
This has worked for me other times. Like this morning. She wanted me to make breakfast, but I'd asked her to put away her dirty clothes. So, I told her I would make breakfast when she took care of the clothes. It didn't take very long before she did that all on her own. My mom suggested taking the time to talk to her and find out why she doesn't want to do things - let her know why I need her to do them, and offer to help. My mom often reminds me to do what the Savior would do, and that has really helped me a lot in the discipline area. No one said being a mother was easy - but then, I never heard anyone say how hard it is, either!
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